God Bless You (Why I am a big believer of a higher power)
I’ve was never serious about anything let alone the concepts of frequencies, vibes and universe. These words sounded like alien to me and I didn’t bother, I always thought of someone talking about things like this as dick. Not that I wasn’t one but it’s always satisfactory to think of others as dicks and cunts. Up until my late teenage I wasn’t even fan of the idea of God, I used to think that it is cool to be in the league of ‘I don’t believe in something I haven’t seen’. It seemed to work decently I would say, God never bothered to teach me a lesson or come down and put my head into cow shit. I was okay being ‘atheist’, not completely but I was to some extent. The amount of resistance I showed in godly matters whenever my family imposed something in me was very soothing to me. I felt like a rebel who doesn’t subscribe to others way of living. My generation as well, weren’t really serious about this stuff, we used to around our business just as any other teenage group, laughing and staring at just about anything. Soon enough my life was about to change because God would come down, metaphorically or literally, I don’t know, I tell the story you tell me the answer.
This pandemic situation almost made everyone shit in their pants because it was too much to handle. I shitted twice or thrice because it was not just pandemic to deal with but my own illness. I was ill with this disease called Focal Segmental Glomerulosclerosis (FSGS) Fancy stuff, we’ll not get into details for this article, just google it. So, me dealing with two situations, loads of mental stress, physical as well and nothing interesting going on in my life to neutralize that. At that time, something inside me said you should meditate. And this is not in literal sense, I just felt it. I had tried it before and bulged out a lot of bull shit about how it’s beneficial to everyone else without never really trying it myself seriously. So, then it began I started doing it, in the morning, at night, whenever I woke up at night (I used to have nightmares….THANKS Sandman). Slowly and gradually what I found was nothing wasn’t really changing, I was just doing it just to do it and to show off. It was becoming kind off famous at that point. Weeks after weeks I started to become serious about it, to the point that now I did it from 30 min to 1 hour a day easily. It was impacting my life, I started understanding the effects of visualization, effects of thinking positively about my health and soul. There you have it, I became a regular meditator.
Up until around month of January, 2021 I wasn’t allowed to even step out of my home. Covid shit, I was on immunosuppressors, So if I got the virus, I was pretty much dead. But, it was frustrating, not being able to go out. At that time my friends were planning a trek and I don’t know why but they asked me. I was sure that I won’t be allowed to leave the house but I did ask my father if he’d let me go. I still haven’t the slightest of idea why, but he allowed me to go. There and then I realized that this was not something casual, there was something behind this. We went on trek, climbed this mountain, I meditated on top of it and there I felt it for the first time. The satisfaction of an ill person to go out and climb a fucking huge mountain, to prove everyone wrong, but there was another feeling, feeling of existence of something bigger than me, that magic happens, that I am being looked after, and it was just a glimpse but it was enough.
Time after trek saw huge improvements in my health conditions and my mental states. I was able to call myself emotionally stable and happy in a way. Everyday I felt closer to something powerful, I started praying as well and my prayers were answered. I was loosing weight, started feeling lighter and better, not that I wasn’t doing anything to get to that state. But, I was getting energy to do it from somewhere else, maybe god or I like to call it universe more often than not. My belief was getting stronger, but it was not until one moment that even a few cells of atheism would die inside me.
In my journey of meditation, I learned yoga postures from a trained teacher. I learned various typed of meditation practices and I followed them religiously. I was following strict diet and fixed routine with all the healthy habit I could follow for mind body and soul. This lead to my doctor ultimately terminating my medicines. It was a moment of pure ecstasy and joy, I couldn’t stop myself from crying for about half an hour. After that my health got even better and mental health skyrocketed. It was around the time of Diwali that I called my doctor and wished him ‘Happy Diwali’. At the moment every frequency of bliss, everything just synchronized, I think even god came down when my doctor said ‘Happy Diwali, GOD Bless you’. I felt that through him literally God had blessed me and it wasn’t just a normal feeling, I could feel it in my heart and my being, my whole existence that God blessed me. From That day I know and I feel it that there is providence. I am being taken care of and you are too just believe it. And I am not saying to just believe it, just stay open and slowly you’ll have experiences which will demonstrate the existence of a higher power, it may not be God for you but at least you’ll know that there is something greater than us.