Intuition or Excuse

It’s around 4:50. Dark, and my phone’s evil plan’s just 5 minutes away. Beside it is me sleeping, having a dream about someone surprisingly proposing a girl which was even a surprise for me so in my dream I pressed rewind button and when I was about to witness this happy moment again my phone decided to interfere with all the loudness it could conjure and bang the love story inside my head ended and I opened my eyes only to say to myself it is a rest day and again me and my alarm slept for two more hours. Waking up realizing that yesterday was also a rest day I wondered whether this was am excuse or self made decision which I felt like was right. Easy, it was an Excuse

However, many times we find ourselves in midst of a myriad of doubts about us and about the world. Thinking this through I found myself not able to distinguish between what is a decision I make intuitively and what is really an excuse. Now it is easy when things are going according to your wants but when you press the pause button look around yourself, in your perception you see two types of people at the given moment, one’s who are progressing and one’s who are regressing. Now everyone has a different perception about almost everyone else. Something which looks like progressive to you might be regressive to the other. Suppose someone said to you read this amazing book it’ll do wonders for you but instead you chose not to read it at all because you don’t want to and in your perception it is not useful to you. You can replace this with anything (Fitness, Job, Career Opportunity, Connections etc.) Now the decision you took can may as well change your life but at least it will have some impact positive or reflective(reflecting a negative experience). But was the decision an intuitive one or an excuse. For you can be either, mostly and intuitive one but for the other person it’ll be always an excuse because he saw you could progress because of that and you didn’t. The question is what should be the basis of decision for you to completely feel that it was right for you without affecting your self esteem negatively, without laying even bits and pieces of self doubt. I don’t have the answer yet but I have the question.