Providence

I was always proud of myself for the fact that I never had a major injury. I walked into a family full of stitches from head to toe with my chest out. Everyone would tell me that my brother had an accident where one of my cousins missed the ball and hit my brother’s head with the bat. Imagine the pain and even though it rarely occurred to my mind, it was clear that I was somewhat thinking of myself as a special child. One who was put off to this earth for comfort.

One day I woke up with swelled eyes and everyone told me to go back to sleep. Still no difference. Even after days they still looked swelled and people would tell me to get enough sleep. After a few weeks, it was clear that the issue was something else. A few appointments and tests later we found that I had rare chronic kidney disease. I was shattered to my core, something which I never dreamt of had come true. It was strong enough to reduce my physical capabilities. I was very fond of running but this condition took that away from me. One of the hardest periods of my life. How I got through it? That’s a story for another blog, but it has been the most influential and positive thing that happened in my life. Yes, positive thing because it brought so many good things with it, how can I call it negative.

Today when I look back I realize that I was being looked after and I am being looked after every single day. That’s what providence means. The universe takes care of me. I had to decide the path, I had to walk on it but there was something always protecting me. Giving me obstacles to make way through them, to learn, to love, to experience heartache and to come back to me at the end for love. I’ve been fortunate enough to have been in touch with the universe. There have been magical moments in my life that can’t be described. People of pure heart and soul have met me on my endeavours, they’ve taught me more about myself than I could ever have learned alone. There have been instances in my life where things would never happen the way I want, didn’t matter how hard I tried. Later I realized that it was never meant for me. And sometimes things would come out of nowhere as a blessing such that they would complete me even though I wasn’t aware of what was missing.

When I was lying in the hospital bed, I asked why me? Today the answer is clear and evident. I feel that and maybe someday I would be able to express it in the way I feel it. It isn’t today but you know what, when you observe as the things go by, you’ll realize that even you are looked after. With time we’ve lost touch with the universe, intuition and with our real selves as well. Aspire for purity and love, for they get you back in touch with the universe. Look inside with love and you’ll be in touch with the universe. You’ll see the magic happening in your life once you experience oneness with the universe.